About soulmates

04 February 2015

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I’ve been doing some thinking about soulmates. 

I just sat and stared at that sentence for a few minutes, as I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this post, so please bear with me. 

Soulmates. Lots of people believe in them. I’m not sure I do, at least not in the sense that most people believe in them. From what I gather, the idea is that a soulmate is kinda like your other half - a person that “completes” you, so to speak. Like a pair of shoes or a set of turtledoves or something, apparently we’re not quite whole until we meet our soulmate. That’s probably my biggest issue with the idea. To go around thinking I’m half a person until I can find that one person in the entire world (don’t even get me started on how big the world is) does not compute in my head. I’ve spent so much time working on myself, figuring out a path for my future, establishing a sense of confidence and all the other things a person does to determine who they are and who they want to be in this world. According to the soulmate theory, that’ll never be enough. Even if you’ve got your future figured out and you’re beaming with confidence and high self-esteem, it doesn’t matter unless you’ve found that one other person in the world who makes you whole. 

Um, no.

What if my alleged soulmate died as a child, before we got the chance to meet? What if my alleged soulmate does something dumb and lands in prison for life? Any unfortunate set of circumstances could prevent the chance encounter that’s supposed to happen between soulmates. Then what? Then we’re just walking around as half a person for the rest of our life?

Um, no.

I don’t follow the train of thought that one single person can complete me in every area. If anything, I probably have multiple soulmates out there: foodie soulmates, musical soulmates, blogging soulmates ;) etc. In regards to my love life, I’ve been in relationships where everything feel right, until it felt wrong. Sometimes it takes a few dates to fall apart, and sometimes it takes a few years and a couple kids. There’s another what if. What if my alleged soulmate gets married to the wrong person, and then I get married to the wrong person? There are too many variables into play for me to drink the soulmate kool-aid, but I get why people do. 

I don't mean to sound like a hater. I'm not. I'm a huge fighter for love and all the mushy-gushy goodness that comes with it. Having a soulmate is a nice idea. However, I don’t think I need that idea to be happy with the person/people I’m with. This goes for friendships and romantic relationships.

Okay. <end soulmate rant/>


6 comments

  1. I agree with every word written here! Everyone has multiple soul mate. I think us humans love making things like this to humor ourselves lol

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    Replies
    1. You are one of my musical soulmates, Phil!

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  2. I love posts like this! I can completely see where you're coming from, why should we wait about for someone else to "complete" our souls when we are the ones who are supposed to feed and nurture them ourselves...I think a lot of people spend their lives waiting for that person to make them happy or to validate them when it's up to us. Don't get me wrong, it's lovely having someone to bring that little slice of happiness into our lives but like you said, what if they die? What if they leave you? Is your soul going to become "incomplete" again? Mine frickin isn't that's for sure!!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    <3

    http://segenswunsche.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. That's EXACTLY how i feel! Thanks for reading - love your blog :)

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  3. Anonymous11 February

    I pretty much have the same stance when it comes to this. It is my belief that we have multiple, but I don't necessarily attach forever with them either. I think we encounter our soul mates based on what we need when they show up. I see it as a mirror effect, where a person comes in your life to show you who you are and/or shake up your world a bit. Sometimes they stick around, and sometimes they come and go so quickly, but we are never able to forget what they taught us about ourselves. SO you have every right to feel the way you do about them.

    xo,
    blogger soulmate :) - Chymere A.

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