photo by David Willardson, 1980

I'm back with another edition of filter the fluff

Let's get to it.

The Blindspots of Mostly White, Mostly Male Restaurant Critics

"From being asked for a drink by white patrons to being told a different wait time for a table (or told there are none at all), restaurant dining rooms too often act in accordance with the same racial hierarchy as the rest of the world...  
I’ve been handed the dessert wine menu at a bar because the bartender assumed I liked sweet wines, and been asked, “Have you had a Negroni before?” when ordering one — and even after assuring them that yes, I had, still suffered through a lecture explaining the concept of bitter flavor profiles. Experiences like these are constant reminders to people of color that they’re an “other” in dining spaces."

Korsha Wilson penned this piece for Eater about what restaurant criticism would look like if it truly represented diners of more diverse races.


My Beauty Uniform: Ingrid Silva

"When Dance Theater of Harlem was founded, the director Arthur Mitchell decided the company should wear skin-colored shoes and tights. But I wear Chacott shoes, and they don’t make them in my skin color. Most brands don’t. So, I use Black Opal foundation to paint my shoes. I use their Ebony Brown shade, which makes the shoes match my skin perfectly on stage. I’d been doing this for ten years — spending almost $1,000 a year on foundation for my shoes."

Ingrid Silva shared her beauty uniform with A Cup of Jo and seriously opened my eyes to the lengths people of color go through in the professional dance world.


When Two Bank Accounts Become One

"Pooling resources can help create something called “financial togetherness,” and that’s the special sauce. “Financial togetherness means that people feel like they have shared financial goals.” 
“That sense of togetherness is a strong factor in loving, happy relationships, even if it comes from activities that don’t sound particularly romantic. The more mundane aspects of merging money together influence how people feel like they are a ‘we’ instead of a ‘me versus you.’”

Charlotte Cowles writes for The Cut about sharing bank accounts with your significant other. It seems that more and more people are against the idea these days, but there's new research that says it may be better for your relationship in the long run.


The Instagram Aesthetic is Over

"Culture is a pendulum, and the pendulum is swaying. That’s not to say everyone is going to stop posting perfect photos. But the energy is shifting. 
A year ago, an influencer could post a shot with manicured hands on a coffee cup and rake in the likes—but now, people will unfollow. According to Fohr, 60 percent of influencers in his network with more than 100,000 followers are actually losing followers month over month."

Taylor Lorenz claims those picture-perfect insta feeds are about to be a thing of the past, and I am thrilled. via The Atlantic


Inside The World Of Stay-At-Home Moms Who Blog For Profit

"What’s different about this specific blog ecosystem is that the product many of the bloggers are selling is guides to setting up your own affiliate-linked blog or Shopify site, where you can sell your printables. The content of those printables and blog posts themselves seems secondary.  
If you look at it from the right angle, this type of blogging begins to resemble a cousin of multilevel marketing (MLM). Successful bloggers at the top of the figurative pyramid can earn income through newer bloggers sharing links to their products (printables or “blogging tools” and guides), while those less established bloggers earn a small affiliate commission."

I was absolutely fascinated by this piece Kathryn Jezer-Morton wrote for BuzzfeedNews on bloggers who make upwards of six figures selling printables and affiliate linking their favorite items.


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  1. Sometimes I wish that I never became privy to all of the microaggressions I witness and even encounter. I toe the fine line between wanting to be aware and wanting to stay in a state of oblivion. But sometimes it's so blatantly obvious and in my face that there is no way I could ignore it. I've noticed the wait times, the abandonment that is felt from the waiter/waitress compared to other tables in their section, etc. I've had a waitress take my plate away before I was even finished eating. I napkin was still on my lap, fork still in hand. Sometimes it's so tiring to be present in these spaces.

    Anyways, I read a similar article about the curated feed going out of style a few weeks ago and honey, my heart smiled. LOL! I enjoy a beautiful feed, don't get me wrong, but the staged laughing and "happy" photos are literally spam to me.

    1. I always prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes it's just too obvious. How hard is it to *not* make assumptions about other people? It's the pretentious atmosphere at the fancy schmancy restaurants that keep me from making a reservation these kinds of restaurants on special occasions. At least when I go to The Cheesecake Factory I'm treated with the same respect as everyone else, ya know?


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