(♥views from inside the car wash)

Scam #1: Buy Two Get One Free - especially when you only need one. Bonus points if the tagline for the sale is something along the lines of the more you buy, the more you save! Because yes, spending more money when you really want to save more money makes all the sense in the world. SCAM.

Publix has the best BOGO deals, because even if you only buy one item, it's still half off in honor of the sale.

(turtles hanging out on a log post-church burgers from US Cafe)

Scam #2: Raffles, especially when it's open to a group of hundreds/thousands of people. Buy more tickets to increase your chances of winning

On that note, I also believe the lottery is a scam.

(finally burning the mini diptyque candle I got a couple years ago warmer weather means bring on all the unsweet cold teas, please)

Scam #3: Detox programs and juice cleanses.

We all have a built-in organ to help our bodies detoxify; it's called the liver, and it doesn't need help from a series of vegetable juices. All it really needs is an ample supply of water. Stay hydrated!

(toilet paper shopping filtered friday selfies) 

Scam #4: "A Diamond is Forever"
Diamonds (most of them) are unethically sourced, overpriced, and have a much lower resale value should you ever try to sell one for any reason. They are not worth the hype. They're not even rare, and proposing with/wearing one doesn't guarantee the marriage will last forever, so there's that. When J and I are retired and I'm ready to upgrade my wedding set to an obnoxiously-sized rock, I'm going with Morganite, Moissanite, Ruby, or Sapphire.

(testing out new toothpaste testing out new hair products)

Scam #5: Makeup tools.
I previously wrote about how the beauty industry in general is scammy by name. In my head it's still considered the cosmetics industry, but if they're going to sell all these products for use on our face/hair/body, they should at least include the tools required for application. My favorite powder foundation from costs ~$30, but it's "best applied" with a buffing brush that's sold separately for another ~$30. It's like if mascara came in a regular tube and you had to buy the brush separately. SCAM. 

For the record, when I wear makeup, I apply pretty much everything with my fingers.

(go on a date with a book)

Scam #6: Paying for access to scholarly articles and academic papers. 

0% of the money goes to the author. It all goes to the publisher and/or academic institution.

(a couple snaps from my recent spa day at Chateau Elan)

Scam #7: The fact that women have to pay for feminine hygiene products. SCAM.

(girls night out at an Amy Winehouse tribute)

Scam #8: Mobile upgrade fees and activation fees.
It doesn't cost Verizon a single penny to press a button on the computer and activate a new phone, but every time we upgrade, that fee pops up on the bill, and every time I have to call and speak to a manager to have it removed.

Okay, that's all.

Do I sound cheap and salty enough yet?