It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
- Losing (Tenth Avenue North)

This song has been on repeat, on all my music-playing devices, for the past couple weeks. It's not really a new song. I had heard it countless times before, and yeah, I always liked it, but it was never really that deep for me. It's catchy, it has a positive message, and the choir comes in strong at the end for the win. There's plenty of songs out there like that, but this one just demanded to be blasted through every nearby speaker when I was alone. I just didn't get why.

Now here I am, like three weeks later, and I'm still not tired of the track. It got to the point where I started wondering if I was harboring some deep-rooted resentment for someone in my life. Like, dang. Do I need to forgive someone from my past and don't even realize it? Am I struggling with some unresolved daddy issues I never new I had? Did a previous boo-thang mess me up more than I comprehended at the time? Why the heck is this song stirring so much feels in all my feelings? Why is "Father, give me grace to forgive them, 'cause I feel like the one losing" stuck in my head so hard?

Then all hell started to break loose in Ferguson, Missouri. A young, black, unarmed man by the name of Michael Brown was gunned down by a police officer, and it sent waves through the Black community. When I say waves, I mean it's all I see/read when I log into any social media account. People of color have all sorts of feeling stirring within them regarding this situation, and I've read countless posts on how tears and screams are the only outlets for those emotions. It's literally wearing out people's hearts... the way they disregard (see quoted lyric above).



It sucks. Real bad. But somehow, throughout the commotion, all those feels in my feelings started to settle, and this song has helped stir some peace instead. Crazy how music and influence our whole demeanor. The right song can add fuel to a raging fire, sooth a hurting heart, inspire creativity and more. 

P.S. This is Your Brain on Music was a GREAT book. Very educational.